Nebula's Quill

My 25th Birthday

2012-01-22T21:22:00.020+08:00

My precious , King.

Death, He conquered that morn.

Life, in the fullest of goodness,

Out poured, in perfect abundance.

The gift of that 25th Easter,

Of breath and of life celebrated.

Once a miracle,

25 Holy Thursday’s old.

The Archangel Michael held watch,

Gentle whispers, within the northern breeze,

Answers I so longed for; found revealed,

Long before the questions were known.

The baptism of fellow brethrens,

Sent my being reminiscing.

Of times and days that I have lived,

Yet, never truly known.

My infant self was baptized,

The promise made, on my behalf.

Faith was my very first gift.

To Mary, I was surrendered, my Mother and Intercessor forever.

Pray, my first love,

The soul grew with nourishment,

By His promises, I will live.

My young self, that decision made.

As seasons passed,

Faith was tested with tempest and flames,

Love pierced deeper and deeper,

4 years of wondering the hopeless dessert,

4 years of slowly finding and following the guided path.

On my 25^th birthday, He placed;

The most precious flowers, in purest charity.

Crowning me, His royalty.

Upon this timid heart, the armour of chastity, obedience and poverty.

“I am ready”

His Princess, in Warriors’ amour.

I look to Him,

He sees my trembling self,

He knows the failing path,

Yet, within His embrace, His Princess remains.

So afraid I am of this path so narrow,

Your will, my King is my only true desire,

Beautiful paths of this land, I will forsake.

For Your heart alone, do I now live for.

Mama

2011-10-25T13:02:00.004+08:00

Your heart is a song.

Its beat, of pure strength

Its rhythm, of precious purity

Creating a harmony of perfect love.

Within Your heart

You have placed me

By its beat, I am strengthen

Its rhythm, my joy

The harmony of Your heart

My only desire

Within your heart

Forever, I desire to remain

Yearning ever so deeply

Maybe…..just maybe

Someday……….

I'd be,

One step closer,

Worthy,

Of this gift….

Your heart , so divine.

Midnight Breeze

2011-09-24T17:37:00.002+08:00

Eyes. Closed.

Desire burns to feel,

Each pulse. Every breath,

In unison, perfect.

Reaching within me,

I hear songs,

Of melodies, I see.

Of tunes, I taste.

Reaching deeper within me,

I see rainbows,

Of colors, so fragrant.

In textures of harmony.

At the depths of my being,

All is still. All is silent

There I learn;

Love, truly is greatest of them all.

Stillness..

2011-07-02T02:01:00.005+08:00

The heart, awoken

The stillness, passes through

So gently, its caress, loving.

The heart, weary.

The Stillness, consoles

It reminds of hope,

And brings gifts of visions

Alas! Rest, is found within The Stillness

In The Stillness

I know

I weep

The Stillness, soothes....

The Stillness strengthens

Burning all impurities

Never stopping till, but ever comforting

Till , but the purest of gold seen.

Within The Stillness

Perfection is personified

Love , in its purest, abundant.

All, within The Stillness

i can only imagine...

2010-10-12T17:17:00.001+08:00

Surrounded by your glory
What will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you Jesus,
Or in awe of you be still?
Will I stand in your presence,
Or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing Halelluja,
Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine

- By Mercy Me

work & me

2010-07-13T12:38:00.000+08:00

If you have not understood my work, you have not understood me.
Short of a better word, the failure, lies in not recognizing that both are one.
For the longest of times, I struggled between the two.
The day I found me, was the awakening that I am the work itself.
From thereon, I ceased to exist. I begin living.
I worked not for survival. I lived to create. Survival took care of its own.
Passion and energy seemed ever-flowing.

I did not live for a purpose.
That would mean that I projected life to be. Concluded.
Instead, I lived purposefully.
In this instance, life unfolds. I am new, everyday. Evolving.

I am that work.

by Tim Fernandez

Here I am

2010-04-04T14:22:00.003+08:00

Genesis 46:2
"And God spoke unto Israel in the visions of the night,
and said, Jacob, Jacob. And he said, Here am I."

Here I am, Lord.

Is it I, Lord?
I have heard you calling in the night.
I will go, Lord, if you lead me.
I will hold your people in my heart.

Silent Rhythm

2010-02-01T05:50:00.005+08:00

I lay upon the cold dewy grass,
Beneath, blackest blanket.
I am a sailor of the land,
Yet, a citizen to none.

The night is perfect.
A silent rhythm, I hear.
In the stillness of the wind
In the weaving of the stars

The rhythm,
Deaf, to all senses
Yet, at home,

At home within my heart,

Night,
Your constellations, tell your story,
My heart beats, to the rhythm,
My story, to be told.

The Rhythm Divine.
No longer, mere desire,
No longer, mere passion,
But, the very breath, of my being.

My Promise

2010-01-21T20:47:00.004+08:00

A distant I stand,
A memory I draw close…
Pearls of time,
Now as dust , they lay.

A harden heart I bear.
I softening promise I make.
As all wounds You heal,
My heart I will first return.

Within Your embrace…
Home.
The longing ever stronger.
To just remain..

My stains are many,
My being untrue,
But truth my heart knows,
That home is only with You.

i can only imagine...

2010-01-21T20:01:00.001+08:00

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel

Will I dance for you Jesus or in honour of you be still

Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall

Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all

I can only imagine

Memory

2009-12-13T02:40:00.005+08:00

Within preciousness,

Creation.

Fearfully.

Perfection personified

The purpose known

The design, yet.

The reason, searched.

The answer, awaiting.

A Herald, sent.

Innocence embraced

Time to confusion , reasons set aside.

A wanderer without a star.

Seasons passed,

Tidings told,

Tempests tamed,

Tales, never to be told

Pain, a faithful companion

Sorrow, his loyal comrade

Patience, the blessed fruit

Joy, remained hope.

Decades remained misunderstood

A fib of mind

A tale of yearning

All, but what was.

Little to know.

The searching was for..

Answers ancient found.

Fulfillment, then desire.

By the banks of clarity, rest

The missing piece

Was the first piece

Perfection personified.

our dance

2009-08-06T16:47:00.008+08:00

Take My hand.
Trust.
Let go.
I will lead.

My Love,
Our dance,
Tells a story..
For all lovers.

Love once found.
Kept safe,
Within precious embrace.

The winds blew ever stronger,
The tempest raged,
Our sails, broke.

We drifted.
To worlds unknown,
Longing ever stronger, a return.

Faith , the constant decision,
The return inevitable.
Within the precious embrace.

Love, Faith
Never stronger
A constant, remaining, forever complete.

My Love,
Our dance,
Tells a story.
For all lovers.

My Everything

2009-06-25T17:41:00.009+08:00

Like an infant
I rest
Under your bosom
My shaking self , seeks warmth

Make them stop!
Make them go away!
A child...longing to be
At peace , at play

My Shelter, my Strength
my Friend , my Love
my Heart , my Soul
my Everything

Hold me,
Never let me go
If only, within Your shadow
There, I will remain.

Job 38 : 1 , 8 - 11

2009-06-21T22:08:00.003+08:00

Today's first reading :

Then from the heart of the tempest Yahweh gave Job his answer. He said:

Who pent up the sea behind closed doors when it leapt tumultuous from the womb,
when I wrapped it in a robe of mist and made black clouds its swaddling bands;
when I cut out the place I had decreed for it and imposed gates and a bolt?

'Come so far,' I said, 'and no further; here your proud waves must break!'

Happy Father's Day Daddy.

2009-06-20T22:26:00.002+08:00

But it was displeasing to me that I acted like a worldling, and it was greatly burdensome to me now that the hope of honor and of money no longer inflamed my desires as it formerly did to help me endure such a heavy bondage.

For those hopes no longer delighted me when compared with the sweetness and beauty of Your house, which I loved.

St.Augustine of Hippo.

2009-06-19T16:59:00.003+08:00

A starry night

My only hope

I dream

I long

You wiped a tear

Silk most precious

A diamond placed

Royalty redeemed

A kiss

Comfort perfected

Woolen hugs

Warmth returned

Within these arms

I belong

Within this embrace

Completed.

Enlightenment ?

2009-06-09T14:26:00.006+08:00

How Enlightened Are You?

Well. . .

If you can live without caffeine or nicotine;

If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains;

If you can resist complaining;

If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you any time;

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment;

If you can ignore friends' limited educations and never correct them;

If you can treat the rich and poor alike;

If you can face the world without lies or deceit;

If you can conquer tension without medical help;

If you can relax without liquor;

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs;

If you can have no prejudice against creed, color, religion, gender, sexual preference, or politics ,

Then you have almost reached the same level of spiritual development as your dog.

Blake Raphael Netto,

thy adorable furriness brings much joy ! :)

love you boy !

*tummy rubs & treats *

Those lil angels..

2009-06-09T13:35:00.014+08:00

A little something for the sweetest angels my little life has been blessed with.
Mere words could never fully express what a precious place you hold and always will.

The precious Isabelle & Christan

The precious Rahul & Priyanka

Love you so very dearly.

June 2009

2009-06-01T12:58:00.004+08:00

Its been a while since I’ve written any of my own pieces...

Somehow, I seem to have lost (hopefully temporary) my ability to translate emotions and sentiments into a coherent string of words expressing the deepest depths of my soul….

June 2009, marks the start of a new beginning.

A new mission . The same vision.

Every fiber of my being is in a state of gratefulness, never did I imagine such calm, collected, assurance.

Never did I imagine such clarity, wisdom and guidance to simply be…..His instrument.

This is the path I have chosen and like all chosen paths.. some days brighter than the other.

Today, I look back on those ( numbered )cloudy tempest tossed days.. and I see the many angels my life has been blessed with.

Some have remained through the decades. Some a little less.

But all, an angel just the same.

The end of one journey, clearly marked the beginning of a new journey.

....hence the journey continues.

2009-03-27T17:24:00.003+08:00

In search for me , I discovered truth
In search for truth , I discovered love
In search for love , I discovered God
And in God, I have found everything

i found the above whilst clearing up some old emails, a simple reminder of where it all started. :)

Voice of Truth

2009-03-23T23:19:00.014+08:00

Oh,what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
you'll never win."

(chorus)
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
"Boy you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don't seem so high
from on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says "do not be afraid"
And the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe (I will choose to listen and believe)
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the voice of truth
I will listen and believe
'Cause Jesus you are the voice of truth
And I will listen to you.. oh you are

By Casting Crowns

I have always held this song very close to heart, but somehow for the last 6 months or so it has become a personal theme song.

An anthem my soul resonates too.

Maybe I’m learning, to truly understand, what it means to live by faith.. and faith alone.

To move to the rhythmic pulse of my one , true, passion and love.

To seek and collect only treasures..that are a soothing balm to my soul.

No longer wanting to define perfection within the brackets and standards set by the world…but yearning endlessly to be perfect…before my King.

2009-03-12T13:08:00.000+08:00

You have made me to be 'toward' You, and my heart is restless until it rests in You.

- Augustine of Hippo.

soulful storm

2009-02-19T16:47:00.004+08:00

I reached within my soul
It’s an afternoon…of the lazy sort.

There is a storm.
Its brewing.
Its broth like texture.
Offers no answer..

I reached within my soul
It’s an evening…of the quiet sort

At you, I stare.
In – to those eyes.
A glimpse of your soul.
The void is seen.

I reached within my soul
Its night….

Take my hand,
Look into my eyes,
This is now.
This is real.

I reached within my soul
Within my soul, You remain.

Photograph by :
Lesly Leon Lee

My Angel

2009-01-16T21:42:00.006+08:00

I dont know why I wither
I dont know why I cry
Buy sometimes I can feel it
My angel passing by

He looks over me,takes care of me
Protecting me with his soul
he showers me with love abundantly
So no evil has hold

Yet I feel the strain of life
While clinging onto his broken wings
I feel his suffering
But still my angel sings

written on : 19/10/1999

finding this poem in my old journal was sweetest bit of my friday. Besides the memories , i realised that this is probably the only poem that i've ever written that has some form of 'structure'to it.

Picture By : Lesly Leon Lee

The Gift

2009-01-16T14:59:00.004+08:00

An infant cries
But the world turns away
Its locked
Within the corner of her heart
Her pleas heard by the deaf
Her struggles seen by the blind
The world has taken over
Trivial emotions rule

The infant is in fear
The wall in between is growing stronger
The strand of love weaker by the moment
Longing to see
What was once within
Hopes are fading
But wishes grow stronger

Life..weaker by each strike
Strength has burnt out
Distant life , remains a memory
But fear is choking her
for what’s to come – the sorrow unleashed.

The infant is silent
Tears have dried
Peace not being the reason
But wisdom has been granted
And knowledge foretold
That the meaning shall be found.

Came across this poem while flicking through one of my oldest journals. I resisted editing it in the smallest way.. simply to preserve its 'raw authenticity'.

This one was dated 12/04/1999

Picture by : Lesly Leon Lee

Isaiah 61

2009-01-14T22:12:00.005+08:00

1 The spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me; He has sent me to bring glad tidings to the lowly, to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives and release to the prisoners,

2 To announce a year of favor from the LORD and a day of vindication by our God, to comfort all who mourn;

3 To place on those who mourn in Zion a diadem instead of ashes, To give them oil of gladness in place of mourning, a glorious mantle instead of a listless spirit. They will be called oaks of justice, planted by the LORD to show his glory.

4 They shall rebuild the ancient ruins, the former wastes they shall raise up And restore the ruined cities, desolate now for generations.

5 Strangers shall stand ready to pasture your flocks, foreigners shall be your farmers and vinedressers.

6 You yourselves shall be named priests of the LORD, ministers of our God you shall be called. You shall eat the wealth of the nations and boast of riches from them.

7 Since their shame was double and disgrace and spittle were their portion, They shall have a double inheritance in their land, everlasting joy shall be theirs.

8 For I, the LORD, love what is right, I hate robbery and injustice; I will give them their recompense faithfully, a lasting covenant I will make with them.

9 Their descendants shall be renowned among the nations, and their offspring among the peoples; All who see them shall acknowledge them as a race the LORD has blessed.

10 I rejoice heartily in the LORD, in my God is the joy of my soul; For he has
clothed me with a robe of salvation, and wrapped me in a mantle of justice, Like a bridegroom adorned with a diadem, like a bride bedecked with her jewels.

11 As the earth brings forth its plants, and a garden makes its growth spring up, So will the Lord GOD make justice and praise spring up before all the nations

A simple conversation with a dear friend was a pleasant reminder of this chapter from Isaiah. Hopefully..it'll remind you, the way reminded me..

( Picture by : Tim Fernandez)

CJ's 2

2009-01-13T18:48:00.000+08:00

This is dedicated my dearest ‘dino baby’ who turns 2 on the 13th of January.

Happy Birthday Christan !!

And the poem written for Christan , when he was born..revisted.

A gift heaven’s from arms,
Treasure beyond all measure,
Sweetness..like never imagined.
A sign, of love perfected.
A masterpiece....crafted by God
Every strand of your hair counted,
Every eye lash prefectly placed.
Your name, He has craved on palms of His hand,
You are , A sign of His perfection,
A sign of His glory,
Above all, a sign of His love.
Always remember…
His love that completes you,
His love that makes you whole,
For His love, is truly above all.

Morning Medley

2009-01-08T13:30:00.007+08:00

My heart sings for You this morning
A melody , of mystery
A love song, of tears and fears
Truest, purest, for You alone

My soul dances for You this day
To a melody never known
The lyrics, unfamiliar
But the soul, never more contended

Take me, into a world
No longer confined,
No longer conforming
It'll be..

You and me,
Forever.

( Picture by : Tim Fernandez)

2008

2009-01-02T13:18:00.003+08:00

Sunsets, and unknown sunrises
A tempest tossing thunder
One crystal clear blue sea…

An island of solidarity..
A continent of contentment,
One starry constellation for all.

A rainbow of vision,
Souls of malnutrition,
But love, nonetheless.

A reflection
Maybe a window
The journey , continues.

Faith , tested and prevails.

Personal summary of 2008. Simplicity is key :)

(Picture by : Adrian Rudess Ron)

Home

2008-11-18T12:57:00.007+08:00

Fear not my gentleness
The eye is far gone
And rest is now due

Be faithful my gentleness,
To the heart..
Upon this land
Wandering traveler remain.
Have not concrete
Create not knots
Be as the flowing river..
Longing only for the sea.

My gentleness,clarity and depth
Be always, the song of your soul,
And Home, you will soon be.

Tuesday afternoon musings...that filled my momentarily idle mind..

( picture by Lois Greenfiled )

Of hopelessness & romance

2008-11-12T23:38:00.010+08:00

I’ve decided to have one of my hopelessly romantic weeks. A sentiment that bears absolutely no logical barring and results in precious scraps of paper being victimized to accommodate my scribbles !

Its sheer emotional bliss ! :)

With thoughts as random as the colors of jelly beans in jar….and purely fictional ideas reaching heights sufficient to turn jack’s magical bean stalk enviously green…

I started writing a poem about a dream I had sometime last week. Its was an interesting ( in a morbid way) dream that ended all the more interestingly ( all the more morbidly).

The poem still feels rather rough.. I’d probably revisited it at some point and see what else I can make of it…

We took a chance..
As if we knew it would be
Our last dance

Fog filled arena
Tear filled heart
Final memory to be made
Final memory to be forgotten

The melody played on
Your voice echoed thru
A thousand draggers pierced me..
The pain, excruciatingly numb

Ending before it started
Healing before it could hurt
Remaining unknown
Remaining forgotten

Its all been said
Nothing more to be done
Trigger pulled ,your last breath taken.

( picture by .Lois Greenfield )

Nightingale's Dance

2008-11-12T21:41:00.004+08:00

I revisited an old poem written in early 2005.
Fine tuned the poem a little..and here it is !
The image below is a painting by my dear comrade Lesly Leon Lee .
More of his amazing pieces.here .

Nightingale’s Dance ( version II )

A glowing heart…
On gentle feet..
Dancing endlessly
Purity beyond all worldly matter
From leaf to branch...
Sunset to sunrise..

The open horizons…
Promising..
Strength and freedom eternal.
Heart no longer sealed..
Hands of compassion
Embraces in abundance

Fingers that heal and love
Words...of compassion and care
Visions of beauty…
Transcending all wisdom
Caresses ..eternally infinite.

Silvery moon rises..nights only hope
Constellations ...tell a story..
A million years never to forget.
Of an ancient day..never to return

Happy Birthday Kelvin !

2008-11-06T16:36:00.005+08:00

This post is dedicated to my brother ( Noel Anthony Netto , fondly known within the family as Kelvin ) who celebrated his 34th birthday yesterday the 5th of November

Dearest Kelvin,

I can’t help, but look at you and your life and give praise and thanksgiving to our precious Father in Heaven for all the wonderful blessings He has so abundantly blessed you with.

From an amazing job, to a beautiful wife, to 2 wonderful children ( who truly are the sugar and sunshine of the family ! ) who absolutely adore you!

How wonderful He is !

Truly Kelvin, your life is a living example of how perfectly God blesses His children.

I pray dear brother that He continues to bless you with only the dearest and most precious blessings and I continue to thank Him for blessing me , with you , Kelvin.

Thank you being my big brother ,and yes, I will always be your piggy. :)

Love you dearly.

Isabelle Maria Netto

2008-10-13T13:59:00.006+08:00

( dedicated to my precious niece who turned 4 on the 8th of October 2008 )

Dearest Darling Belle,

Its amazing how time has flown!

I remember the call from your all excited grandma announcing your arrival as clearly as if it were a moment ago...

Baby girl ! she exclaimed...

I giggled to myself and said…”I told you so…”

I hurried off to Chinatown…where I insisted on a dozen yellow roses with a purple ribbon...

WOW…

……those were my first thoughts as I laid eyes on you the very first time.

All bundled up..and sound asleep, you were perfection personified.

With your eye lashes that curled perfectly…and your fingers that were long and slender ..

“oh, she’s going to be amazing with the piano!”

( now that has rang true , hasn’t it Bella darling ?!)

Bella darling…

Thank you for being the sunshine of our family….and that sunshine you shall always be.

St. Augustine

2008-10-02T03:45:00.010+08:00

Beside St. John the Apostle, St. Augustine of Hippo is the saint that has always intrigued me…. His work, all as immensely passionate they are as intellectual.

One of my favorite excerpt's from his confessions :

“ Late have I loved You, O Beauty so ancient and so new, late have I loved You !

And behold, You were within me and I was outside, and there I sought for You,
And in my deformity I rushed head-long into the well formed things that You have made.

You were with me, and I was not with You.

Those outer beauties held me far from You, yet if they had not been in You, they would not have existed at all.

You called and cried out to me and broke open my deafness;
You shone forth upon me, and you scattered my blindness;
You breathed fragrance, and I drew in my breath and
I now pant for You : I tasted , and I hunger and thirst ;

You touched me , and I burned for Your peace.”

My last night..

2008-09-29T20:56:00.008+08:00

It started of with a thought…just like any other thought.

What if….i were to give it a try ?

But like all other thoughts that are conceived within my mind…it was tested by the fires of my minds own scrutiny.

I had short listed 3 of poems , these 2 I finally read…i'm home , my Love and The universe, me and You

It was an experience like none other. For someone who’s been writing for over a decade…this was my first real step towards breathing life into my work.

That’s exactly what last night felt like…

Last night was a blessing beyond compare... humbling to be amongst such talent , and yet be made to feel perfectly at home…

The perfect inspiration that I’ve been needing…

Lesly, thank you for assuring me that the eggs (if thrown) wouldnt smell too bad and for capturing the evening so beautifully :)

My Salvation

2008-09-23T15:24:00.007+08:00

"Father, how wonderful Your care for us!
How boundless Your merciful love.
To ransom a slave you gave away Your Son.
O happy fault, O necessary sin of Adam, which gained for us so great a Redeemer". (Exsultet - Easter Proclamation)

Adrian thank you for the amazing post which the above was taken from.
God Bless you ever so dearly.

I will be your St.John

2008-09-10T00:44:00.019+08:00

This post is dedicated to my dearest & closest friend , Dave Jean Kameron.

There is a silver lining to everything u once said. But somehow, it seems that everytime a wound heals, a new and more painful one forms.

So much has been said. So much was suppose to be done. All thrown to the wind...all left as if it were meaningless.

Deceiving and deception the sudden fruits of pride and envy…saddening and painful but plain reality.

But, by this I say , not all is forgotten :

Never , will that timid 14 year old forget that you were the first to ever tell her that her smile was her sweetest blessing.

Never will that 16 year old forget the sleepless hours you spent assuring her , that her future , though seemingly uncertain , is indeed, by His grace, as bright as the morning star.

And never , will that broken hearted 21 year old forget…how you , and only you , had hope in her. Picking up , not only the broken pieces of her heart….but her broken life all the same. Carrying her with your strength, until she, was strong enough to fly , dream and believe, once again….that by Him..everything is indeed possible.

Always will your life be the greatest testimony of His love.

Always will your life be a shining example of how perfectly He blesses us…with not only what we need…but far more that we can ever imagine.

And finally...

Always...

As you have been mine...

I will be your, St.John.

My perfect inspiration...

2008-09-03T18:49:00.005+08:00

How beautiful You are, my love
How perfect, how pure
In Your image, I was formed
In my life, I long to reflect

The sweetest blessings
Of life, You have bestowed
How precious, the love
That only You, complete with

By Your side, draw me closer
By Your word, the grace to live
To You alone, ever pleasing
And home to You , one day to be

Within Your loving arms
I long to be
Held so close within your embrace
Resting my being, forever.

Prayer of St. Francis

2008-08-31T16:09:00.004+08:00

its the weekend, i'm home..due to work totaly stressed and sleepless.

amidst all the noise, i found the below again..

Lord,
make me an instrument of Your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is discord, unity.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is error, truth.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
And where there is sadness, joy.

Divine Master,

grant me that I may seek not so much to be consoled, but to console.

Not so much to be understood, as to understand.

Not so much to be loved, but as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive, it is in losing ourselves that we find ourselves.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life."

an evening of wonder..

2008-08-21T22:14:00.004+08:00

I met Joy for the first time this evening. At 14 months, he’s almost the cutest thing I’ve ever laid eyes on. Something about him made my heart skip a beat.

Will the adoption work out..? I’m not sure…but if he’s meant to be mine, I’ll know and time will tell. Paul, see , he’s not been named after you. But thank you , yes , again :)

How different my life today is compared to a mere month ago. Never would I have thought that so much that was significant would become so insignificant ….. in such mere time.

But now, the storm has passed on and I’m setting sail once again.

This time, much stronger and wiser .

Truly, when He heals…He heals completely. My zest and passion for life…. which I thought was stolen away from me, He has renewed and is now a fire burning stronger and purer than ever before.

Is there a plan? Yes, there always is. But for now, its been surrendered to Him…and if it is His plan ….. In His time it will materialize.

I just cant wait… :)

My faithful three

2008-08-20T22:31:00.004+08:00

Poetry, painting & music… its amazing how these 3 elements of art has never failed to intrigue me, in an eye sparkling , mind stimulating, heart moving kind of way…

All of these elements over the course of time in their own way seem to have documented the various phrases of my life…

I was tidying up my study a couple of nights ago, when I stumbled upon one of my oldest sketch books.I’m an amateur among amateurs, but what intrigued me about my own little sketches (some merely scribbles) was how each and every one of them brought back clear distinct memories…memories of what I was experiencing and my state of mind as I sketched.

As I flipped through its yellowish pages, I was almost impressed by the ‘child me’ who so diligently documented so much…so much that today , they act as lessons for the ‘adult me’ to learn from.

The sentiments were similar as I starting flipping through my first poetry collection. Poetry was first among the three that I dabbled with…using it initially as a mode of journal writing…but in a code that only I truly understood.

Whether it was a poem about a childhood crush or childhood confusion…it was all there, in my little code book…providing me with the occasional giggle at my own childish naiveness , the occasional sigh at the heart broken teenage girl, and the lessons that came with all of that. Most of all, I experienced deep sense of gratitude of how blessed my life is today.

How amazingly things have turned out to be…far beyond anything my childish mind could have ever comprehended.

A moment later my eye caught sight of my violin that was in the corner of the room. Though music has always been an element close to heart , I never considered it to be a forte. I’ve found myself dabbling with it many times at different points of my life..but each time never truly long enough to know how far i could actually take it.

Thus music seems to have documented a slightly different perspective of my life. My rebelliousness at the age of 8 , whene I refuse to attend any of my violin classes…my fearlessness at 14 whene I sang “a whole new world” in front of an audience of 200…yes, and these days I shy away from even humming a tune out loud.

But of late….this element seems to be growing closer and closer to heart. Still shying terribly in comparison to the many great names we know…but somehow within the comforts of my dimly lit study something new seems to be brewing and this time…I dare say, its here to stay.

Maybe this is the element that will document my adult life , immortalizing moments that would otherwise simply pass by…never to be remembered.

Storms of life..

2008-08-06T21:55:00.004+08:00

When I feel like I’ve had enough…
Off heartbreaks..
Off disappointments…
When I feel…I just cant..

Your voice tells me..
“Continue…this is for My glory”

When I feel there’s nothing left…
That alls been spent..
That alls been drained…
When I feel..Its all over

Your voice tells me
“Continue…your strength I’ll renew ”

Now, that I feel like breaking down…
Giving up…
Walking away…
And letting all go…

Now…
You’re holding me so close…
Wiping away my tears…

And you say to me..
“Together we’ll soar above the storm”

You don’t have to prove anything..

2008-07-20T05:28:00.004+08:00

Its 5.32am. Yes, its another day too long.
I came across the below, something so simply said by William Stafford..

“It’s for the best,” my mother said, “Nothing can
ever be wrong for anyone truly good.”

And then I look at the suffering Jesus endured,
and the suffering of all people.
If any one was definitely good, it would be Jesus.
As for me, the only good in me is Jesus.

And yet he suffered.
I have suffered, and will again.
The people I love have suffered.
The stranger in the store has suffered,
and perhaps even now is trying to live with tragedy.

Why? I don’t know.
I do know that Jesus came and he suffered.
He was human. He suffered
with us, for us.

God never answered Job’s questions.
He is not going to answer mine.
God is the one who asks the questions:
How are you going to respond?
Are you going to receive or reject, keep or give?

The answer to the question is not a what, but a who,
not words, but the Word.
God is the answer to all questions.
And Jesus came
to show and to live and to be the answer.

I claim no deep understanding,
but I know—I know—with Jesus,
nothing can ever be wrong.

Near the end of the same poem,

“You don’t have to prove anything,” my mother said.
“Just be ready for what God sends.”

You do all things well

2008-07-18T14:09:00.005+08:00

The first time I truly listened to this song was on Saturday, the 28th of June.
It was the end of an extremely tough week…during a weekend that was initially no simpler.

My heart, was still as heavy and my mind, still filled with far too many questions.

I spent a fair amount of time that particular Saturday night on the beach…

Just me..

Me and the sound of the waves rushing to shore…

Me, and the wind that gently caressed me….

Me.. and this song..

Mountain Maker
Ocean Tamer
Glimpses of You
Burn in my eyes
The worship of heaven
Fills up the skies

You made it all
Said, "let there be"
And there was
All that we see
The sound of Your voice
The works of Your hands
You do all things well
You do all things well
You do all things well

Star creator
Wind breather
The strokes of Your beauty
Brushed through the clouds
Light from the heavens
Touching the ground

Imagination runs wild
And breathes the breath of life
Across the fields
Across the miles

- Chris Tomlin

Be still...in quietness & trust

2008-07-12T02:31:00.006+08:00

Hide me now
Under Your wings
Cover me
Within Your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father You are King over the flood
I will be still and know You are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust

Words and Music by Reuben Morgan

loving reminder..

2008-06-30T16:43:00.003+08:00

I am the Father who comforts you in all your troubles.
(2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you.
(Psalm 34:18)

As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart.
(Isaiah 40:11)

One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes.
(Revelation 21:3-4)

And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth.
(Revelation 21:3-4)

On a dark night..

2008-04-29T13:41:00.003+08:00

On a dark night,
Kindled in love with yearnings
oh, happy chance!
I went forth without being observed,
My house being now at rest.

In darkness and secure,
By the secret ladder, disguised
oh, happy chance!
In darkness and in concealment,
My house being now at rest.

In the happy night,
In secret, when none saw me,
Nor I beheld aught,
Without light or guide,
save that which burned in my heart.

This light guided me
More surely than the light of noonday
To the place where he was awaiting me
A place where none appeared.

Oh, night that guided me,
Oh, night more lovely than the dawn,
Oh, night that joined
Beloved with lover,
Lover transformed in the Beloved!

Upon my flowery breast,
Kept wholly for himself alone,
There he stayed sleeping,
and I caressed him,
And the fanning of the cedars made a breeze.

The breeze blew from the turret
As I parted his locks;
With his gentle hand
He wounded my neck
And caused all my senses to be suspended.

I remained, lost in oblivion;
My face I reclined on the Beloved.
All ceased and I abandoned myself,
Leaving my cares
forgotten among the lilies.

St. John of the Cross

* Translated from the original Spanish version "En una noche oscura".
St. John of the Cross has written two books on this poem, explaining its meaning as a metaphor of a soul that unites with God. The books are "The Dark Night of the Soul", and "Ascent of Mount Carmel".

Nevertheless, some modern critics take the poem for an erotic love poem, which it may seem to be at first look. *

The 4th of April...A birthday medley..

2008-04-24T14:01:00.009+08:00

I knit you together in your mother's womb. (Psalm 139:13)….I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. (Acts 17:26).) .... For you were made in my image. (Genesis 1:27)….. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)…. )…

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I chose you when I planned creation. (Ephesians 1:11-12)…I knew you even before you were conceived. (Jeremiah 1:4-5)..You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. (Psalm 139:15-16)… For you are my treasured possession. (Exodus 19:5)… My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)… Because I love you with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3)

My sister sent me the below;

You were born on Holy Thursday. There was a full moon and Kelvin and I had just discovered Werewolves.

What if she is a werewolf-baby I asked Kelvin as we walked from Church to town with Daddy for dinner ('cos Mummy was in the hospital). The moon (as it is its wont) followed us.

Wow! Kelvin said. Thrilled with the idea of a werewolf- baby sister. Gradually I came to like the idea too - I figured you would be like the puppy I always wanted :-p

Of course you were so much more. From a cute, rambunctious independent baby you grew into a gorgeous, rambunctious, independent young lady. Learning lessons at a young age that took me a decade or so to assimilate.

People seeing us together now always think that you are the older sister - your height, your confidence and your grace under pressure being the deciding factors. And they are right - in so many ways you are the bigger person.

Thank you for coming into our lives that beautiful Maundy Thursday night.
I couldn't have wished for a better Easter gift.

Sunita , Kelvin & Jenny , Belle & Chistan , Mummy & Daddy ,
i love you ever so dearly.

To my most treasured ones..Dave, Marianne, Jimmy, Susan, Sam & Sheilla

The lil angels..Rahul, Priyanka, Christine & Celynn.

Thank You for being my life’s greatest blessings.

And to all who wished and blessed me on that special day, Thank you.
God bless you ever so dearly.

Enough

2008-04-11T11:52:00.002+08:00

All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

You are my supply
My breath of life
And still more awesome than I know
You are my reward
worth living for
And still more awesome than I know

All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

You’re my sacrifice
Of greatest price
And still more awesome than I know
You’re the coming King
You are everything
And still more awesome than I know

More than all I want
More than all I need
You are more than enough for me
More than all I know
More than all I can say
You are more than enough for me

Enough , by Chris Tomlin
Picture , by Albin Lobo

In Your Arms..

2008-02-04T15:20:00.000+08:00

So I throw my life upon all You are,

Cause I know You gave it all for me,

And when all else fades,

My soul will dance with You,

Where the love lasts forever.....

(Where the love last forever - Hillsongs)

Snips of Christmas

2008-01-10T15:08:00.000+08:00

The first gift of Christmas.

2007-12-27T15:42:00.001+08:00

There’s nothing like an empty office greeting you with open arms….especially if its your first day back after a week (I still cant believe a week is over!!) of worklessness.

And nothing bets its ability to inspire or rather induced my creative juices!

Every Christmas is special. This year was no exception.

It started with the dawn of advent and all preparation that came with advent, which included my traditional “spring-clean”. Honestly, its incredible how long it takes me to prefeeect 725sf of space! And by this I mean several dayssss……

This, of course was eagerly followed by the mile long shopping list, mostly presents, ( ok ok there was the occasionally lip liner & shoes – hey , necessities ! ) and the nights spent making my lil space look and exude as much Christmas Spirit as possible...the result , surprised lil me. I was pleased. 

Over breakfast one morning, the Godsister turned to me and asked ,

“What was the first gift of Christmas?”

I looked away from my breakfast and up at her whilst trying very fast to force my head to think......she continued to tell me about a Christmas movie she watched couple of days ago…

While she was re-enacted the story over to me….i found myself trying very very very hard to remember what the first gift of Christmas was. Love ? Family ? etc etc….but none of these rang true.

Finally…she reached the bit where the answer is revealed.

The first gift of Christmas was a Child. The Son of God Himself. God’s gift to us.

John 3:16 For this is how God loved the world: he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life.

Of all the advent days, this particular one remained my favorite.

Here’s hoping that all your Christmas’s will always be special – as the greatest gift the world has known was given on that day.

Blessed Christmas.

Psalm 17:8

2007-11-22T02:36:00.000+08:00

Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings
from the violence of the wicked.

Who am i?

2007-10-04T16:45:00.000+08:00

I got into work this afternoon…like any other afternoon. Anticipating what I always anticipate, preparing for what I always prepare for.

Indeed , it was an afternoon like any other.

But something special happened; a dear friend sent me a song via msn.

Listening to it transformed my usually afternoon mood entire!!!

Why do we ever ever ever think ourselves ordinary ????

Yes , we are ordinary , but by Him – we are nothing short of extraordinary !

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love, and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

I am Yours
I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

by Casting Crowns.

PS : David , thank you. Today forth, this is my personal theme song !
How very fitting , dont you think ? :)

My Search

2007-10-02T22:49:00.001+08:00

I searched the rooms
I searched the drawers
Next was the kitchen
I searched that too.

I searched the files
I searched the books
Next were the magazines
I searched that too

I searched among my friends
I searched among my foes
Next was the stranger
I searched him too

But all I found was nothingness
The more I searched
The more I was convinced
Nothing is all there is.

But one day,
I look up to You
Like a child to her daddy I asked
‘Is there more ?”

Into my eyes You looked, my hands You held
And softly You whispered
“Yes princess there is.”
“Let Me be your everything, and no longer will you search”

My mind was made
My heart was open
To You and You alone
Do I belong.

For never was there a love so complete
For never was there a love so amazing
And never will there be
A love so perfect.

Abortion

2007-09-25T20:48:00.000+08:00

Month 1
Mommy, I am only 8 inches long, but I
have all my organs. I love the sound
of your voice. Every time I hear it, I
wave my arms and legs. The sound of
your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.

Month 2
Mommy, today I learned how to suck my
thumb. If you could see me, you could
definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm
not big enough to survive outside my
home though. It is so nice and warm in
here.

Month 3
You know what Mommy, I'm a girl!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad. It makes me sad too,
and I cry with you,
even though you can't hear me.

Month 4
Mommy, my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine, but I will
have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my
time exercising. I can turn my head
and curl my fingers and toes, and
stretch my arms and legs. I am
becoming quite good at it too.

Month 5
You went to the doctor today. Mommy,
he lied to you. He said that I'm not a
baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month 6
I can hear that doctor again. I don't
like him. He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it?
It burns! Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it! Mommy!!
HELP me!!

Month 7
Mommy, I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.

Why didn't you want me, Mommy?

*author unknown

Shine for you....

2007-09-22T00:13:00.000+08:00

The entire week has been a string of challenges, but as each day in the last week is recollected upon, its clear that each challenge was surmounted,by leaning on His strength. All glory belongs to Him and Him alone.

Truly, i am in awe. For the second time - i am alive because of a miracle, by His grace upon my life.

Look across the world
And let us shine for you, Lord
The whole world is yours
And I want to live for you

One thing I know
Is that you've changed my life
I give you my all
All you are is good
Give you my heart
God it's only you I seek
Give you my praise
'Cause I believe in you

Look across the world
And let us shine for you, Lord
The whole world is yours
And I want to live for you, O God

All that I know
Is that you've changed my life
I give you my all
And all you are is good
Carry the lost
Make my prayer in this life real
Carry my cross
Hold on 'til I see you

Look across the world
And let us shine for you, Lord
The whole world is yours
And I want to live for you, O God

And I want to live
I want to love you more
I want to be used
Father in all of the world

May your word be heard
May it stay on my lips
To live what I speak
Until your kingdom come

Look across the world
And let us shine for you
And let us shine for you
Look across the world
And let us shine for you, Lord

The whole world is yours
And I want to live for you
Look across the world
And let us shine for you, Lord
The whole world is yours
And I want to live for you
And I want to live for you
And I want to live for you

Hillsongs United

yesterday...today...tomorrow

2007-09-14T03:36:00.000+08:00

I’m having a ‘moment’. Not just any moment – but one of those moments where your feeling so inspired you can literally feel it flowing within your veins…..with every heartbeat it slowly unveils leaving perfect, crystal clear clarity. I love moments like these…..i could loose myself for hours in such inspirations writing poem after poem or sometimes, just sometimes maybe even a prose or two.

I know I’m not alone when I say that there’s been much thought and planning for the future lately. There’s also been a lot of analyzing of the past – the last 9 months in particular. There’s been anxiety over mistakes that were made in these last months and further anxiety over its potential impact on the future…

That’s probably why this particular excerpt from Stormie Omaritan’s Just Enough Light for the Step I’m on ( I know I quote this book a lot – I call it my dinner book. Dinner is the one time I make sure its just me with a good book and some simple food.) was appreciate ever so dearly. I’ve read this book over several times over, somehow each time something new – always stands out.

I know I’m not going to be the only one to appreciate the below:

“Don’t worry about seeing or understanding what the future holds. God wants you to trust Him as he leads you, even though you can’t see clearly ahead. And don’t be overly concerned about fully comprehending the past. Only He knows the whole truth about it anyway. You have Him. He is your light. And that’s all that matters.”

That served as a lil reminder to me….

Consuming Fire (by Hillsongs) is playing in the background at the moment…and somehow more that ever before this song seems to strumming at my heartstrings…

There must be more than this,
O breath of God come breathe within,
There must be more than this,
Spirit of God we wait for You.

Fill us anew we pray,
Fill us anew we pray.

(Chorus)
Consuming fire fan into flame,
A passion for Your Name,
Spirit of God fall in this place,
Lord have Your way,
Lord have Your way with us,

Come like a rushing wind,
Clothe us with power from on high,
Now set the captives free,
Leave us abandoned to Your praise.

Lord let Your glory fall,
Lord let Your glory fall.

Stir it up in our hearts Lord,
Stir it up in our hearts Lord,
Stir it up in our hearts Lord,
A passion for Your Name.

Till my next post, God bless !

where the love last forever

2007-09-11T23:53:00.000+08:00

Your mercy found me,
Upon the broken road,
And lifted me beyond my failing,
Into Your glory,
My sin and shame dissolved,
And now forever
Yours I'll stand.

In love never to end,
To call You more than Lord,
Glorious friend.

So I throw my life upon all You are,
Cause I know You gave it all for me,
And when all else fades,
My soul will dance with You,
Where the love lasts forever.

And forever I will sing,
Lord forever I will sing,
Of how You gave
Your life away,
Just to save me,
Lord You saved me.
With You, where the love lasts forever.

Hillsongs United

Kiss of Heaven

2007-09-05T18:31:00.000+08:00

I'm walking a new walk
I'll never be the same again
Dancing a new dance in
Your Holy Spirit Rain
Your breath of life has overwhelmed me
and set my spirit free
I'm living a new life,underneath Your morning star
Running a new race,in the shadow of Your love
Your love is immeasurable,too deep to comprehend

My Jesus,dream-maker
My Jesus, live-giver
I'm living under the Kiss of Heaven,
and I'll never ever be the same again

I'm singing a new song in the presence of The King
Giving You my heart
That is all that I can bring
You lit a fire inside of me
That I thought would never burn again
I thank You,my Father, for all You've done
And all You're going to do
My past behind me and You before me
I press on for more
Im living in the embrace of Heaven
And I'll never ever be the same again

Hillsong United

Forever ( Hillsongs )

2007-08-29T23:11:00.000+08:00

I'll Worship at Your Throne
Whisper my own love song
With all my heart I'll sing
For You my Dad and King
I'll live for all my days
To put a smile on Your face
And when we finally meet
It'll be for eternity

And Oh how wide You open up Your arms
When I need Your love
And how far You would come
If ever I was lost
And You said that all You feel for me
Is undying love
That You showed me through the cross

I'll worship You my God
I'll worship You my God
I love You
I love You
Forever I will sing
Forever I will be with You
Be with You

the universe, me & You.

2007-08-18T01:26:00.000+08:00

The sunlight danced as I woke…
A little tango outside my window
The leaves were all excited,
Among the flowers there was a whisper…

The clouds all gathered together
Shouting from high their big hello
The birds all rushed to shelter
But not before their chorus sang

From the little pebbles
To the mighty mountains
From the tame river
To the rowdy seas….

The little ant rushes tell
The grand blue whale whispers ocean loud
The royal lion powders his nose
While the domestic cats purr in admiration

But I my Lord,
I came to you, as I am
With my many imperfections and faults
Before You I stand

I heart races with excitement
My soul knows no joy other joy
My Lord, make me worthy
Make me worthy of Your love

So as the moon is a reflection of the sun
May I be a reflection of You, and You alone.
Forever.

A delightful dinner

2007-08-16T01:31:00.000+08:00

Came across something whilst reading during dinner last night. It's engraved itself so deep into me that I simply had to share.

The writer ( Stormie Omaritan once again ) was relating a particularly difficult period of her life. During this period, instead of clinging onto God, she began to believe that God was not there for her. She sought out the old familiar comforts of ungodly relationships and alcohol. She became sidetracked and wasted much precious time.

But none of that would have happened if a strong effort to walk in the light (of God) was made everyday – no matter what was going on.

Here’s the excerpt that moved me the most:

“I have electricity in my home, but if I don’t plug into it, I don’t see the light. I have Jesus in my heart, but if I don’t plug into Him daily, I won’t be able to see His light either, even though it is there. I have to connect to Him. Talk to Him. Worship Him. Spend time with Him. Bask in His radiance like bathing in the sun. Become so familiar with His illumination of my soul that I immediately recognize any counterfeit”

3 Years !

2007-08-11T05:10:00.000+08:00

It has officially been 3 years. 3 whole, complete, years since the first time I started officially working. Of course there were all sorts of other odds things that I did before that I actually called work. This ranged from getting paid to do chores, to giving literature tuitions to even handing out flyers! Yes I had some ‘broke’ moments.

Starting off, a dewy eyed teenager, completely oblivious to everything - to the me I am now. I recall how afraid I was, this day 3 years ago. All the uncertainties put together, was more often too much to handle.

But after 2 years of being with the organization, I began to grow a little too content – the unhealthy sort of content. So much to the extent that I accepted the fact that I was too numerically young to progress. I knew it was time to move on but I lacked very vital then. Faith in God.

But our Heavenly Father being the perfect Father that he is blessed me by allowing someone very special back into my life just about then. This person not only lit this fire of passion that I today have for God , but somehow helped regain my confidence , ambition but most of all helped me believe once again that I too can dream , and my dreams can come true.  I have not stopped dreaming since!

Our Heavenly Father being the perfect father that he is not going to let anything go to waste. All the exposure I gained in that organization not only made my CV look good, it built my character. Isn’t it amazing how God can take the worst situation imaginable and turn it around into something so amazing that its mind blowing!

Thus began a new journey, this time one chosen specifically for me by my Heavenly Father. The last 9 months (oh, how time flies!) have been amazing, new faces, new experiences – I can’t believe how blessed life can truly be ! I have given Him so little compared to how abundantly he has blessed me.

Have circumstances been different; would my choices have been different?

Probably.

What’s for sure, I would not have the most precious group of friends ( all equally, if not more in love with God ) that I do today, I would barely be able to enjoy the sense of peace I today do – but above all that , I would not be in love with God the way I am.

Our Heavenly Father is ever waiting to welcome us home into His kingdom; it is truly whether or not we want to be home. Oh, how I wish I had decided to go go home to Him, 3 years ago.

Wind beneath my wings..

2007-08-09T00:36:00.000+08:00

It must have been cold there in my shadow,
to never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that's your way.
You always walked a step behind.

So I was the one with all the glory,
While you were the one with all the strength.
A beautiful face without a name for so long.
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
but I've got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you.

Did you ever know that you're my hero?
You're everything I wish I could be.
I could fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings.

Did I ever tell you you're my hero?
You're everything, everything I wish I could be.
Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle,
for you are the wind beneath my wings,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Oh, the wind beneath my wings.
You, you, you, you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly, fly, fly away. You let me fly so high.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.

Fly, fly, fly high against the sky,
so high I almost touch the sky.
Thank you, thank you,
Thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.

Psalm 23

2007-08-08T03:41:00.000+08:00

Its 03:40am and my day is barely over. I’m missing Him. Everything else seems so urgent these days that spending time with my dear Saviour keeps being pushed aside. Amidst of all the hassle, something touched my busy and ruffled heart - Psalm 23 by Don Moen. A truly anointed singer he is – so beautifully the Psalm is sung accompanied only by a piano & violin.

Isnt it amazing how God chooses to speak to us, amidst all the noise, providing us with exactly the sort of assurance that we need. Our perfect Father indeed. :)

Psalm 23
Jesus, my shepherd and only provider
He makes me lie down in green pastures
He leads me beside the still water
He restores my soul

Surely goodness and mercy will follow me
All the days of my life
And will dwell in house forever
Until the end of time

Jesus, my shepherd and only provider
You make me lie down in green pastures
You lead me beside the still water
You restore my soul

Though I walk through the valley of shadows
I will not be afraid
Your rod and staff are my only comfort
And You'll be with me always

You prepared a table before me
In the presences of my enemies
And you anoint my head with oil
And my cup overflows
My cup overflows with your love
With your love

Jesus, my shepherd and only provider
You make me lie down in green pastures
You lead me beside the still water
You restore my soul

The Cross & and Switchblade.

2007-07-26T21:18:00.000+08:00

Personal review II

Led by incredible faith, David Wilkerson made a seemingly bizarre step from his home and country pulpit in 1958 to the streets of New York City. The Cross and the Switchblade is the amazing true story of how, prompted by the Holy Spirit, he began an out-reach to teenagers ensnared by drugs and violent gangs ruled by warlords, drug pushers and pimps.

In was into this world that David Wilkerson stepped into armed with only the simple message of God’s Love.

The entire book, documents David Wilkerson’s journey of faith. Each step of the way…miracle to miracle. From the very first time he was arrested for wanting to meet the boys who were on trial for murder – an arrested which led to the gangs trusting him enough to show him where they lived…what they did…and how they did it all.

It was this very faith that allowed him to begin a home that could continue to support these teenagers after they had decided to leave the streets. To date, the home remains the only place in the world where final stage heroin addicts have hope of survival.

A book I would highly recommend to all, especially to those keen to serve more than the norm but find themselves holding back….

This book definitely showed me that no call is too great. If God has planted that seed of desire to serve His people…He will show how it is to be done. All that is needed is faith and obedience.

Dave, thank you. This is just one of the many amazing books that you introduced to me. Well, now you know what i'm going to be asking for this Christmas! :)

Hinds Feet on High Places

2007-07-23T22:09:00.000+08:00

A Personal review

This book is a beautiful allegory dramatizing the yearning of God's children to be led to new heights of love, joy, and victory.

The allegory depicts the life of an orphan named “Much-Afraid” and how she escapes from her “Fearing” relatives in the Valley of Humiliation. She soon finds solace with the Chief Shepherd in the High Places where "perfect love casteth out all fear."

Throughout this spectacular allegory, you will be journeying with Much Afraid who has crooked feet, a crooked mouth and is a member of the Fearings Family. All this hinder her work for the Chief Shepherd and causes her much secret distress as well as shame.

Fortunately, Much-Afraid is not alone on her journey to the High Places; she is joined by two companions , specially chosen by the Chief Shepherd for her - Sorrow and Suffering. They guide her and teach her several valued lessons that she would have never learnt otherwise.

The book continues to depict Much-Afraid’s journey; the challenges & struggles (physical & emotional) are much like those that we experience during a spiritual journey.

But just like Much Afraid who was determined to reach the High Places not just to receive hind’s feet but a new name as well [ And thou shalt be called by a new name, which the mouth of the Lord shall name." (Isaiah 6:2)], we too need to continuously fix our eyes upon Him and keep to the paths which he has laid for us.

Much-Afraid finally reaches the High Places where she loses her humiliating disfigurement and is made beautiful and receives the seed of love and a new name Much-Afraid then returns to her valley of service upon being transformed by her union with the loving Shepherd.

A book I would highly recommend to anyone looking to deepen their relationship with our loving Shepherd. Hinds Feet on High Places clearly shows us exactly how special and intimate our relationship with our Shepherd can truly be.

science didnt answer the interesting questions..

2007-07-18T16:59:00.000+08:00

From the movie Red Earth

Chantilas: [Suppose] we just finished poisoning the earth and everyone was dead in a hundred years. Then what was the point of anything?

Art, beauty—all gone—the Greeks, the Constitution, people dying for freedom, ideas. None of it meant anything?

What about religion? Do we give up on God too?

Gallagher: You didn’t just give up being a scientist one day, did you?

Chantilas: I realized science couldn’t answer any of the really interesting questions. So, I turned to philosophy. I’ve been searching for God ever since.

Who knows, I may pick up a rock and it’ll say underneath,
“Made by God.”

The universe is full of surprises.

2007-07-11T03:05:00.000+08:00

Dreams….

I read something several weeks ago that fitted perfectly into everything that was happening around me that week.

Although I knew, that God had placed me exactly where I am today, I was bursting with questions.

Why not me !? Why is it not happening yet !? How much longer !?
Why here when it just does not seem to be happening !?

All those questions fueled by the fact that I simply was not seeing my desires materialize. I did not see my ambitions achieved within the time frames that I had decided that they must be achieved. Progress was simply not happening the way I decided I ought to be happening.

But, one thing had slipped my mind and it took a very dear friend to remind me. The reason I am where I am. My Father God.

Against all odds, He had placed me here. It was His plan. (And truly it could not have been any more amazing) But all the sudden, I turned things around to how I wanted it to be..leaving His plans and desires out of the picture.

How silly of me!

I read something that very evening whilst still bursting with questions that showed me how extremely silly I had been to cling onto all those dreams and desires the way I did.

I realized that I was never going to achieved any of it that way, and even if by some strange way I did – its sweetness would barely be an ounce. It could never fulfill me.

Because the most fulfilling of dreams are achieved the way God has designed for them to be achieved.

Below, is an adaptation of what I read that night by Stormie Omaritan

“God puts dreams into our hearts to give us vision and inspiration and to guide us to the right path.

That’s why we have to make sure the dreams we have are not from our own flesh.

The only way to be sure is to lay all of our dreams at His feet and let them die. And we must also die to them.

The ones that are not from Him will be buried forever.

The ones that are from Him will be given new life.

We do not want to be wishful thinkers.

We want to live with confidence that our hopes, dreams and expectations are based on God given certainty that He is behind them.

We want the hope that comes from God alone and is built on a foundation of His promises to us and His revealed purposes in us.

This kind of hope is an anchor to the soul.”

Today, my dreams and desires have a new meaning altogether.

2007-07-10T02:03:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Sunita.

God Bless heaps & heaps !

lots of love,
sher.

Father's Day

2007-06-21T20:30:00.000+08:00

For the 1st time since its purchase my car broke down on me. It was approximately 8:15am on Sunday when she (my car – yes, I decided it’s a ‘she’) decided to turn blue and lifeless on me.

This was followed by my brain going momentarily numb.

It was strange …there I was, awake at dawn and on the way to my parents place – two extremely rare events. When suddenly,I found myself stuck within a car that looked like she had decided to take up pipe smoking as a hobby!

A phone call to the God Brother-In Law and an hour and a half later, I found myself taking my first ride in a tour truck! As exciting as I made that sound, I was far as far gets from feeling any form of positive excitement. Instead I caught myself taking little peeps at my baby girl from the side window of the tour truck –“just to make sure she was ok.”

At the mechanics, I frantically described the sequence of events – from the horribly noisy acceleration to me not knowing that my car smokes pipes as a hobby!
My God Brother-In Law (whilst still in shock about the smoking bit) re- enacted all I said in mandarin to the very obliging mechanic.

The diagnosis was passed, which of course was gibberish to me. The bit I entirely understood was how much it was going to cost me. To that , I felt my heart jump out of my body via my mouth which was hung open that wide directly onto my (not so soft anymore) palms.

Options were none. To the price I agreed.

Being greeted by hot iddiappoms and mountains of cheese cake at the God Brother-In Law and God Sis’s place was the warmest fuzziest welcome I could have ever received. After consuming that can only be classified as “dangerous” amounts of cheese cake, afternoon nap time it was – yes I regret it now and yes again, I knew I was going to regret it then.

The best thing about sleep – it always manages to make the hours fly by faster. The next thing I knew I was receiving a phone call from the mechanic informing me that she’s ready to be picked up. Seeing her alive and kicking – now that’s what you call comforting ! For a moment …I almost forgot the dent in my wallet this was causing.

By this time,the consolations were beginning to take position and the sun was giving way to the beautiful crescent...

The strangest thing ever started to happen, it was as if only at that moment everything that had happend started sinking into me…deep into me.

The fact that my 6 month old car spent an entire day lifeless,the fact that i'm probably going to spend the rest of the month extremly broke, but the fact that sank in the deepest was that I had missed being home for father’s day.

The last time I was - I do not cannot recall.

During my drive home from the God Sister’s place, emotions that I ever knew existed within me were beginning to surface. Memories of old, locked away and buried began playing themselves over. By the time I was home, the flood gates were broken and there was nothing stopping them from flowing.

But there was something I knew that moment, clearer than I ever have before was that I may have missed spending Father’s Day with my dad , but what I did not realize till that moment was that my Heavenly Father, my Father God , my perfect Daddy was by my side the entire day.

There He was with me clamming me as I grew anxious while waiting for the tour truck , there He was by my side when I wondered how was I to meet the payments ? He was there in the physical support and affection that I received from my closet friends.

There He was…through every second of that day.

That night as I lay to sleep…I knew I was falling asleep on my Daddy’s lap.

The safest and most secure place ever known. My Daddy healed my fears and put to rest all my anxieties.

That night as I fell asleep, I asked my Daddy to bless all those who have lost their earthly father’s and those have never experienced the love of a father.

I asked my Daddy to remind them that He will always be their perfect Daddy and that they are never short of experiencing a father’s love.

That night as I fell asleep, I whispered “Happy Father’s day Daddy”.

2007-06-12T23:58:00.000+08:00

Jesus asked St. Jerome in a vision why he had not given Him everything.

Jerome replied,

“Lord, I have devoted my life to your service. I have given you all my works, all my love, all my praise, everything.”

Jesus replied, “No, you haven’t given me your sins.”

A letter from the heart...

2007-05-30T00:33:00.000+08:00

My dearest…

Why do you yearn for love that is momentary?
Why do you search for happiness in all places but one…

Peace has only one source
Happiness has only one source
Love has only one source

Jesus. Make Him the source of your life.
For only His love is eternal…
Only He can fill this emptiness
Only He can complete you.

His love…
Is amazing….
Completes you in a way that’s simply overwhelming in joy!

Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all else will be given to you.
A promise, a command infallible.

hugs,
sherril.

2007-05-24T22:50:00.000+08:00

He never sleeps
He never slumbers
He never tires of hearing our prays
When we are weak, He becomes stronger
So rest in His love
And cast all of your cares on Him.....

Don Moen.

"Forgiven" Thomas Blackshear II

2007-05-17T17:47:00.000+08:00

2007-05-15T20:46:00.000+08:00

This hunger is better than any other fullness; this poverty better than all other wealth.
(C.S. Lewis)

God comes to us not as food but as hunger, not as presence but as distance felt, not as fulfillment but as longing, not as love consumated but as desire enkindled.

God does not take away our loneliness but intensifies it.

God does not answer our questions but floods our souls with ever-expanding mystery.

God does not soothe that “old ache” but deepens it.

God does not open the door but prompts us to go on knocking.

For our hunger is a joyful longing.

Our hunger is God made present.

John Kirvan; God Hunger: Discovering the Mystic in All of Us.

2007-05-11T00:04:00.000+08:00

Take me further Lord
Into the lands of the slain
To recover Your jewels
To bless all with Your love.

Take me further Lord
To the ends of the earth
To stir within all man a desire
Solely for You

Take me further Lord
To the pangs of pain
Where innocence is tortured
Where the weak have no voice
I will stand , yes by Your strength

Take me further Lord
To those who search yet have not found
To those who thirst have not been quenched
To those who long, yet do not know
And I will shout, that You complete all.

Take me further Lord,
Into the depths of unknown
To search…and to find
To discover all over again…
Your infinite love

2007-05-07T23:09:00.000+08:00

I can't believe the way
Your love has got a hold on me
Each morning I wake to find You near
You lift me above my fears
And set my feet on solid ground
All of my days belong to You

And I breathe in Your breath of life that fills my heart
You are my all consuming fire

I stand here before You
In wide opened wonder
Amazed at the glory of You
The power of heaven
Revealing Your purpose in me
As I'm reaching for You

Hillsong

I simply dance...for You.

2007-05-07T22:49:00.000+08:00

Dancing and dancing and dancing !
I simply dance for Your glory
I dance to your praises
I dance for You my Lord have set me free!

No longer do I fear, no longer do I worry
Yes ! I have been blessed beyond dreams!
Your love completes me
Truly with faith I know – it’s by Your plan I live!

When they say how was it possible ?!
I say it is , with You my King !
You’ve done it all for me,

That’s how it was possible !

You my King have made all possible !
Every dream , every ambition , every vision
Now seem like grains of sand
When measured by the blessings of today.

I sing , I dance !
Trumpeting to all
That by You my King , I dance forever !

22 Wonderful Wonders !

2007-04-04T19:32:00.000+08:00

Thank you
For everyday of sunshine
For the rain that sometimes passed thru
And the faithful rainbow that always followed
But most of all, the ability to love them all just the same

Thank you
For the softness of heart
The warmth of smile
The hands to embrace
But above all, the ability to appreciate them all just the same

Thank you
For the pillars of strength
The rational of mind
The knowledge of endless faith
But most of, Thy graces that see me thru

Thank you
For the fires that purify
The deserts that test
The diamonds that refine
But above all, the gold and glory of Your love

Thank you
For Your faithfulness
Your ever ceasing guidance
Your awesome love
But above all, Your incomprehensible nature to love.

Thank you,
For choosing me
For blessing me with more than I could have ever imagined.

2007-04-04T18:20:00.000+08:00

You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your hands
And lead me in Your righteousness
And I look to You
And I wait on You

I’ll sing to You Lord, a hymn of love
I’m carried in everlasting arms
For Your faithfulness to me
You’ll never let me go
Through it all

Hallelujah…

Hallelujah…

-Hillsongs-

Forever..

2007-03-23T20:08:00.000+08:00

With every breath,
A yearning grows stronger,
A yearning just to be..
A heart beat closer to my King

He whispers softly
“My princess, My own”
His words I hear
My King forever more

He adorns me with jewels..
Rarest and most precious
He whisper’s
“None of these more precious than you”

My garments of silk
Oh how delicate and soft
But the most delicate and soft,
The heart within my King

His words are just,
His promises are real,
He is my King ,
His princess, forever more, i'll be.

Into the world He sent me,
His princess in a warrior’s amour,
Declaring His promise,
Standing by His word.

He whispered softly
“Though all else forsake you, I will not forsake you,
Onto my palms your name I've carved.'
Your King forever more, I remain.

To my King I belong
By His purpose I stand
I am my Beloved’s, and my Beloved's mine.

2007-03-13T20:16:00.000+08:00

…there’s so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once, and it’s too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain. And I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my…little life.

- taken from the movie : American Beauty

2007-03-12T21:51:00.001+08:00

Your love is extravagant
Your friendship....intimate
I find I’m moving to the rythyms of your grace
Your fragrance is intoxicating in our secret place

Spread wide in the arms of Christ
Is the love that covers sin
No greater love have I ever known
You considered me a friend´
capture my heart again

- darrell evans

2007-03-07T18:54:00.000+08:00

My Child,

You may not know me, but I know everything about you. (Psalm 139:1)

I know when you sit down and when you rise up. (Psalm 139:2)

I am familiar with all your ways. (Psalm 139:3)

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. (Matthew 10:29-31)

For you were made in my image. (Genesis 1:27)

In me you live and move and have your being. (Acts 17:28)

For you are my offspring. (Acts 17:28)

I knew you even before you were conceived. (Jeremiah 1:4-5)

I chose you when I planned creation. (Ephesians 1:11-12)

You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. (Psalm 139:15-16)

I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. (Acts 17:26)

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:14)

I knit you together in your mother's womb. (Psalm 139:13)

And brought you forth on the day you were born. (Psalm 71:6)

I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me. (John 8:41-44)

I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. (1 John 4:16)

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. (1 John 3:1)

Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. (1 John 3:1)

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. (Matthew 7:11)

For I am the perfect father. (Matthew 5:48)

Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. (James 1:17)

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. (Matthew 6:31-33)

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Because I love you with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3)

My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore. (Psalms 139:17-18)

And I rejoice over you with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17)

I will never stop doing good to you. (Jeremiah 32:40)

For you are my treasured possession. (Exodus 19:5)

I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. (Jeremiah 32:41)

And I want to show you great and marvelous things. (Jeremiah 33:3)

If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. (Deuteronomy 4:29)

Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)

For it is I who gave you those desires. (Philippians 2:13)

I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. (Ephesians 3:20)

For I am your greatest encourager. (2 Thessalonians 2:16-17)

I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. (Psalm 34:18)

As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. (Isaiah 40:11)

One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. (Revelation 21:3-4)

And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth. (Revelation 21:3-4)

I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus. (John 17:23)

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. (John 17:26)

He is the exact representation of my being. (Hebrews 1:3)

He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. (Romans 8:31)

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. (2 Corinthians 5:18-19)

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. (2 Corinthians 5:18-19)

His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. (1 John 4:10)

I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. (Romans 8:31-32)

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me. (1 John 2:23)

And nothing will ever separate you from my love again. (Romans 8:38-39)

Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen. (Luke 15:7)

I have always been Father, and will always be Father. (Ephesians 3:14-15)

My question is…Will you be my child? (John 1:12-13)

I am waiting for you. (Luke 15:11-32)

Love,

Your Dad,

Almighty God.

'Father's Love Letter used by permission Father Heart Communications Copyright 1999-2006 www.FathersLoveLetter.com'

2007-03-06T01:34:00.000+08:00

I was there
When you drew the breath of life
And I could hear your voice
The first time that you cried
And though you couldn't see Me
I was very near
And there's something now
That I want you to hear

You will always be a child
In my eyes
And when you need some love
My arms are open wide
And even when you're growing old
I hope you realize
You will always be a child
In my eyes

I was there the first time
That you prayed
And I heard
All the promises you made
And when you fell before Me
Crying, Father, I have sinned
I picked you up
And held you close again

-Ray Boltz.

The Bookmark of Saint Teresa of Avila

2007-02-28T21:41:00.000+08:00

Let nothing disturb you;
Let nothing make you afraid.
All things are passing;
God alone never changes.
Patience gains all things.
Who has God wants nothing.
God alone suffices.

Happy Birthday Mummy

2007-02-27T23:00:00.000+08:00

Blessings, blessings, blessings,

Blessing I pray
For you obeyed Him
Though all else yelled impossible!
You obeyed Him, and allowed life

Blessing I pray
For you remained faithful to Him
In all moments,
From Him did you gained all wisdom and strength

Thank you Mummy
For giving me the greatest gift of all
The gift of faith in Him
Like you, I too will cling to Him at all times.

Happy Birthday Mummy , love you dearly.

KAIROS

2007-02-27T22:29:00.000+08:00

In Your time Lord,
Comfort for the broken,
Strength for the weak,
Courage for those in fear.

In Your time Lord,
Tears wiped away,
Strength renewed,
Eyes opened to Your infinite glory.

In Your time Lord
The fruits of faith shall bloom
Purifying fires put to rest
Strength of stone bestowed

In Your time Lord
The purpose revealed
For each and all
Who choose You as Lord and Saviour

These and more,
You have promised,
For Your people,
For those who wait upon You .

2007-02-19T18:13:00.000+08:00

I received an email last week. An email that stirred my innermost being , not only provoking thoughts..but confirming what I felt I should be doing…

i replied the email and shared it with my closet friends…they prompted me to share it with all. The meditation he speaks of is what was posted in my previous post.

Here it is..

Dear Louisa,

I found your wonderful poem today by "divine accident." Every week, I search via Google for the phrase "will you bless me" because it's the title of a children's book I helped publish. This week's search brought me directly to one place: your poem!

The heart and words of your poem, "I'm home, My Love" are so timely and inspiring to me. Why? Because a very close friend of mine (named Peter) just learned that his wife (Sarah) has decided to separate from him after 23 years of marriage. It's a very painful, heartbreaking situation, and it seems to me that only a miracle willd restore this broken marriage and family of four.

I know your poem speaks of straying from God and returning to the Lord Himself, your First Love. But as I read it today, the words also seemed so fitting for Peter and Sarah's circumstances. So, as huge as a miracle as it would be, I am hoping and praying that the heart and words you wrote would flow from Sarah's heart -- not only for the Lord Jesus Himself, but also for her husband Peter. Would you join me in that prayer?

Today, I printed out your poem and was ready to walk away from the computer to share it with my family -- but then I felt inspired to write you this word of encouragement and thanks, realizing that you'd never know how personally meaningful it was to someone here thousands of miles away in the USA. It also dawned on me that you'd especially appreciate this Meditation (printed below, which speaks of your mission.).

May the Lord of the Universe
continue to inspire you and
guide you along the path.

2007-02-15T02:12:00.000+08:00

Thank you Joseph for sharing this with me.

GOD HAS CREATED ME
God has created me
to do Him some definite service.
He has committed some work to me
which He has not committed to another.

I HAVE A MISSION
I may never know it in this life
but I shall be told it in the next.

I AM A LINK IN A CHAIN
A bond of connection between persons
He has not created me for naught
I shall do good — I shall do His work
I shall be an angel of peace
A preacher of truth in my own place
while not intending it
if I do but keep his commandments.

THEREFORE I WILL TRUST HIM
whatever I am, I can never be thrown away if I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him if I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him.

HE DOES NOTHING IN VAIN
He knows what he is about
He may take away my friends
He may throw me among strangers
He may make me feel desolate
make my spirits sink
hide my future from me – still
HE KNOWS WHAT HE IS ABOUT.

- John Henry Newman

I'm home , My Love.

2007-02-13T01:39:00.000+08:00

I was climbing the highest mountain
You were leading me…
You showed me safest paths
Your strongest guards, sent forth for me

You held me close…
The prettiest flowers of the valley
You placed upon my hair
By the coolest waters..You allowed me rest.

But from the path I strayed
To paths that were no longer safe…
Your guidance…I forced away
Your flowers..I crushed

I stood on rocky edges..
On quicksand I place my tents
Poisonous flowers and fruits I ate..
And all I began to feel…was pain

My Love, I have fallen
From You I strayed
You I have betrayed
You I crucified

Please, will You forgive me?
Please, will you bless me with the grace to forgive myself?
All I want to do is be faithful to You, my love
I long to come back onto your paths..

My love, I have never felt more sorry
The pain of my fault hurts so very much
A pain I willingly bear..for so great was my fault
To Your perfect love , I long to return.

My Love, I need Your strength
My Love, I need Your guidance
My Love , I cant live without You
I need You. Now. More than ever before.

Be my strength in my weaknesses
Be the balm that soothes this pain
Be the joy the my trickling tears are
For I love You..and only You

Jesus take the wheel by Carrie Underwood

2007-02-09T20:57:00.000+08:00

She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline
It would been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
She was going way to fast
Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was sooo scared
She threw her hands up in the air

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on

Oh, Jesus take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me

Happy 4th Birthday Rahul !

2007-02-07T00:53:00.000+08:00

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A precious gift to more than one,
A heavenly blessing,
Every inch crafted perfectly
With every smile, joy, joy immeasurable

The moon could have never told
How your little snore four years ago
Could have melted the least worthy of them all
A memory, able to warm the coldest day

The stars could have never shown
The healing your innocence would channel
Love in its truest form
I was taught, looking into your eyes

The winds could never have whispered
The warmth your embraces have
The laughter and amazement all you say bring
Rahul , such a blessing , such a gift you are.

As the clouds pass on
Each day a memory made with your precious smile
I look to heavens, and I thank Him for the gift of you.
This amazing creation, my humble life has been blessed with.

Happy 4Th Birthday Rahul.

Love you so very dearly.

A glimpse of what was...

2007-01-25T15:31:00.000+08:00

something i stumbled upon today , written at the start of 2002.
if only i had known, of what was to be. :)

Will i ever make it ?
He knows, and time will tell.
But i know i will..somehow..oneday.
All shall be shown , all shall be proven
Worries washed away , cares lifted off
My being finally at peace.

My heart shall dance to Your rhythm thats within me
A rhythm now locked, bound by the cares of the world
For my dancing to the songs of the world will soon end
Then, only Your song will be heard and known.

THE AIM
1. to do the unexpected
2. to touch the heavens high
3. to silence all demons
4. to be the unthinkable
5. to own a heart of gold
6. to be within all hearts
7. to bow for all passings

2007-01-24T21:29:00.000+08:00

My words do no justice
And my actions are far from perfect
For love is overwhelming…

Who is it ?
That’s lighten my burden
Stilled my restless heart
And still…only loves me more.

The flame is burning
The desire endless
The decision has been made

To You, I belong.

My love song

2007-01-23T21:41:00.000+08:00

Beaten, bruised and burnt…to be nothing less than the finest
Purified in flames..
Cut to perfection…
Made whole…by love beyond all nature can imagine

Alone…yet never a moment lonely
A single call.. and my hand You hold
In Your presence…..i am least worthy
Yet made whole..by love..fullfilling.

The thorn of love...that pierces so deep.. is so sweet.
Longing, thirsting, endlessly eager for more of You…
With You.. I belong. With You..I am home
Made whole…by love …unconditional

Broken heart…made new
Tears…are none but joy
Pain no longer stains.…
By Your love..i am complete.

Purified

2007-01-22T21:08:00.000+08:00

A personal favorite by Micheal W. Smith..

Where the angels see
You are praised as You should be.
But how can I express
My yearning for Your Holiness.
May it be (that)

I will open up my heart
Search me in the deepest part.
And I will stand in cleansing fire,
By You, purified,
By You I'm purified.

Savior of my soul
To your strength I yield control.
Purge me of my stain
Sin will lose it's mortal reign.
Make me free (and)

I will open up my heart
Search me in the deepest part.
And I will stand in cleansing fire,
By You, purified,
By You I'm purified.

You are Holy
You are Holy
Yes You are Holy
You are Holy
You are Holy
Holy

I will open my heart
Search me in the deepest part.
And I will stand in cleansing fire,
By You, purified,
By You I'm purified. (for You)

You are Holy
You are Holy
Yes You are Holy
You are Holy
You are Holy
Holy